John the Familiar of Zero
by Theboblinator
Summary: John is in the middle of his rock climbing class when suddenly a portal appears in the middle of the gym. Unlike everyone else, he knows exactly what this means. He decides that to save anyone else from having to seperate from their families, he would go instead. How Would I react to being summoned? (IN THE PROCESS OF BEING RE-WRITTEN)
1. Self Sacrifice

**AN: Most of you who have read this before may be thinking "Why the hell is there only one chapter?! What the hell happened to the rest?!" Well, the answer is that I've decided to Re-Write this one. The reason is because I went back and read it over again, and I've decided that it could be greatly improved. So now it is going to be greatly changed. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 1: Self Sacrifice**

My entire rock climbing class was clustered around floating green portal in the middle of the gym. They were all staring at it like they thought something was going to jump out of it and attack them. I, on the other hand, was walking towards my backpack thinking 'Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Of _course_ this happened.' I look inside my backpack and find my solar charged phone, some snacks from my lunchbox that I've yet to have, as well as a few extra pairs of underwear and socks. There's also the special suit and pants that I carry around neatly folded into a box, along with a white button up shirt. There was also all my school stuff, but I wouldn't be needing that where I was going. So I dump it all out onto the floor.

I also have a bag next to it with my regular clothes. This consisted of a red T-shirt that said 'Keep Calm and Kill Zombies', blue jeans, and my black leather jacket. Right now I was wearing my gym clothes which were blue jeans with a white T-shirt and my black converse. Next to that was my laptop case. Inside it was a wireless mouse, a track pad, and the solar powered laptop itself. I grab all of this and start towards the clustered group in the center of the gym. I tap my friend Jack on the shoulder and he turns around. "Grab your phone." I tell him. He just looks at me with wide eyes for a minute before he does what I said.

I make my way through the crowd towards the green portal. When I get through I turn around and face Jack. "Go to the recording app." I tell him. He does so then faces me. "Start it up." He nods his head and gives a thumbs up to say he did. I adjust the bag on my shoulders and face the crowd. I sigh and start my little speech that's probably going to lead to a lot of questions that I don't have time to answer.

"For some of you watching this right now, as long as Jack posts it on YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, or so forth, then you should know exactly what this is." I say, gesturing to the portal behind me. "You should also know what it means. It means that I am going to the Tristain Academy of Magic. For most of you watching this, you are going to be saying "This is all a hoax. There's no way that you can do that.' And another group that is going 'What the hell is this kid talking about?' Well to explain it, basically I'm going to be a part of an anime." This makes the group around me stare at me with confusion and skepticism clear in their gazes. I ignore it and continue to stare at the phone.

"Mom, Dad, Joseph. Please know that I love you. And know that the reason that I'm leaving is that if I don't do this then someone else is going to have to go. I don't want other mothers and fathers to lose an only son or daughter. So I'm going instead of them. I hope you can forgive me for leaving you like this. But I don't want other families to suffer because I didn't do this." I turn around and start towards the portal. I look over my shoulder one last time when I reach it. "I'll miss all of you." I say, before I turn around and walk into the portal.

Imagine you're underwater in a pool. You're walking around slowly, trying not to float to the top and there's lukewarm water around you. That's what walking through the portal felt like. Then I was on the other side and I couldn't feel anything. I was floating around in complete blackness. I couldn't see any light whatsoever. Then I heard some sort of speech. "Well, there's the chanting from Louise." I say out loud. Then a green portal appears in front of me and I'm pulled towards it. "Here we go!" I yell out in my best Mario impression. Needless to say, I probably failed.

Then suddenly I'm on my back on the ground and staring up at the blue sky. I sit up and groan as pain suddenly hits me. Then look around me. All the second year students of the school is staring at me. Some of them have their hands in front of their mouths so others can't see that their laughing. "Alright, f*cking great. I give the worst impression possible when I'm summoned." I look down and shake my head. Then I slide my backpack off my shoulders, and place the bag and laptop case down next to me. Then I look up and see Louise arguing with Mr. Colbert.

I stand up and walk over to them. Then I tap Louise on the shoulder. She turns around with anger in her eyes. 'Alright, remember not to anger master Louise. She looks really scary when she's angry.' I think to myself. On the inside I'm cowering. But on the outside I just stand there. I make a waving motion with my hands trying to say 'Hurry up' then point to my left hand. She just stands there staring into my soul. I sigh and roll my eyes. Then take a few steps back and stand there tapping my foot.

She turns around and continues to argue with Mr. Colbert. He gets a stern look in his eyes and says something to her. 'Probably the whole, 'If you don't do this we will expel you' thing.' I think to myself as she turns around and stomps towards me. I just stand there waiting. Then she takes out her wand and chants the ritual. Then she reaches up, and pulls my head down to hers to kiss me. Even if it isn't an actual kiss, it feels great. I can't even begin to describe how it feels. But it lasts less than three seconds, and then she breaks away. I stand there, waiting for the pain to come.

Suddenly my hand feels like it's caught fire and a thousand needles are piercing it at the same time. I grip it and wait for the pain to pass. "F*ck!" I yell out. "I didn't think that it would feel this bad!" I grip my hand even tighter and bend over as the pain starts to go away. Once it's gone, I stand back up and see Mr. Colbert take a step forwards.

"Alright everyone, the summoning ceremony is now complete. You can all return to your rooms." Once he finishes saying this, people wave their wands and start to fly away. Yes you heard right. They _fly_ away. If only Saito had been awake to see that. Although I notice Mr. Colbert's eyes widen when he looks at my hand. 'Meh, he'll be in the library tonight trying to figure out what the sign is for.' I think to myself, remembering the anime.

I look back to where Louise was standing before and see that she's not there anymore. I look around and find her standing in front of the door that leads into one of the towers, tapping her foot impatiently. I sigh, go grab my stuff, and then follow her inside.

***Scene Break***

"Great. So now I'm probably going to have to do something to get her to perform, and fail, the silence spell so we can understand each other." I say out loud to myself as I place everything down in Louise's room. Suddenly she rounds on me from besides her bed with a look of anger on her face.

"What do you mean fail?!" She yells at me. I stare in shock at her for a few seconds before shaking my head. Then go back to staring at her.

"Wait a minute. You understood me?" I ask. In response she walks over and slaps me on the face, knocking me to the floor. Wait a second. I also understood Mr. Colbert earlier when he was telling everyone to go back to their rooms. How did I not notice it then?

"Of course I understand you!" She yells at me. I stare up at her again, then down at the ground.

"But you're supposed to try to perform a silence spell. Then it's supposed to backfire so that instead of silencing me, we can understand each other. So why is it that we can already understand each other?" I ask myself. Now she's looking at me with confusion.

"What are you talking about peasant?" She asks me. I sigh and stand up.

'Might as well try to explain some of it.' I think to myself. "Well you see, you summoned me from a different world." I state. She stares at me with confusion, then surprise.

"You mean to tell me… That I summoned a familiar from beyond Halkegia?!" She exclaims. I look at her, and then nod my head.

"More than that. You summoned someone from across the universe." I say. Her eyes widen at this. Then just as quickly they go to slits.

"You're lying. That's not possible." She starts over towards her drawer and starts to dig around in it. "For lying to your master, you must be punished." She continues.

"Ummm… What do you mean by that?" I ask as she straightens up. Then she turns around with a riding crop in her hand. Immediately I'm backing up towards the wall. "Nonono! I can prove it to you!" I yell out, trying to do anything to get away from being whipped by that thing. She stops, and then puts down the riding crop on the table next to her.

"Well then start explaining." She says, sitting down with the riding crop within reaching distance. I walk over and take the other chair. Then I start telling her about my world.

***SpongeBob announcer: One Hour Later***

"So you're trying to tell me that you come from a place where magic doesn't exist. And in place of it you have something called 'Science'?" She asks me. I nod my head in response. "And you're also trying to tell me that you know everything that is going to happen from now until four days from now?" I nod my head again.

"That about covers it." I reply. She stares at me for a few seconds before going for the riding crop. But I reach out and push it off the table before she can reach it. "No! I'm not just some animal where if you don't believe something that I say, you decide to attack me for it! I'm a human being. Just like you. Just because I come from a different world doesn't mean that I'm completely different." She just stares at me with anger in her eyes.

"If you don't believe me, then ask me a question about what happens sometime over the next four days and I'll tell you what happens." She stares at me for a second, before replying.

"Fine. What happens two days from today?" I slouch. I was hoping that she would ask about tomorrow. This might make things a little difficult.

"Umm… Well you see… I, um…." She stares at me expectantly. "*Sigh* I'll be unconscious." I tell her. Her eyes narrow again.

"That sounds more like an excuse to not admit that you're lying." She tells me. I clear my throat.

"Well I can tell you what's happening right now with Guiche." I tell her. She narrows her eyes at me.

"And just what would he be doing?" She asks me. At that I smile.

"Well, right now he's flirting with a first year girl named Katie. And if I'm right, they'll be talking about how good she is at baking Soufflés in a few minutes." I tell her. Her eyes narrow even more.

"Prove it." She tells me. I nod.

"Alright, follow me." I open the door and start down the hall. Then I walk down the stairs and stop when we reach the landing to the first floor. I wave to Louise to stand next to me and look out at the hallway that Guiche is standing in. She looks out and sees Guiche standing there with Katie. She continues to stare until they start to talk about soufflés. Then she turns to me with wide eyes. I just smile at her. Then I run past her and the two love birds.

It takes a few seconds. But Soon I hear three sets of footsteps following me. I look over my shoulder to see a _very_ angry looking Louise following me, with Guiche and Katie close behind. I run past Kirche and that other guy at the fountain, then jump off the stairs and run across the courtyard. 'Better think of a good way to explain why I'm trying to run. Otherwise I'll have bruises all over my body from that riding crop. After a few more seconds of running, I'm suddenly being lifted into the air. I look down and see Guiche and Louise. Along with Kirche, Katie, and the other guy. I look back up and see the big blue moon, along with the smaller pink moon hanging in the sky above me.

I look back down at Guiche. "You can let me down now. I'm not going to try and run. It's not like I'd be able to get anywhere with you being able to do this to me." He smiles smugly as he decides to have some more fun waving me back in forth in the air.

After a few minutes of that, he lets me down to the ground. I walk past Kirche, the other guy, Katie, and a steaming angry Louse. But when I get to Guiche I stop and whisper just low enough so that only he can hear, "You'll get yours you two-timing bastard." Then continue walking. I look over my shoulder to see Guiche is staring at my retreating form with surprise and confusion written all over his face.

I get up to Louise's room and sit at the table, waiting for her. She slams the door open, then slams it closed and rounds on me. Only to be stopped short by my outstretched hand. "I told you I know everything that is going to happen over the next four days right? Well for things to go the way that they're supposed to, I had to barge past them." I say. Then think about it. "Although, I guess I did change the timeline a little by the fact that I said something to him that Saito wouldn't know." I mumble to myself. Suddenly I hear a *Crack!* and I pull my hand to my chest at the pain that's suddenly there.

"Ow!" I yell out. Looking at Louise who's now holding the riding crop. "Alright. I guess I deserved that one. But if it happens again, I'm throwing it out the window." She seethes in rage, before throwing it at her desk. Then turns back to me.

"Why did you have to run past him?" She asks in a low tone.

'Probably trying to contain the rage.' I think. Then put my hands together, place them in front of my mouth but under my nose, and sit forward. **( AN: ****_Sherlock_**** anyone? ;) )** "I had to do it so that tomorrow when I see him and Montmorency together, I can get her to dump him." I tell her. Suddenly her look of anger turns to one of confusion.

"Montmorency? But I thought that he was just talking to that Katie girl?" I stare at her for a minute, waiting for her to fit the pieces together. I can tell she has when her eyes widen. "Wait. So you're trying to tell me…" She doesn't finish. I nod my head in response. Suddenly she goes back to being angry. But I don't think that she's angry at me this time. "That two-timing snake!" She yells out. I put a finger to my lips.

"Shhh. We don't want the whole of the school knowing until tomorrow." I tell her. She turns to me with confusion and anger in her eyes.

"Why not?" She asks.

"Because I'm going to be the one who exposes him. I have a thing for two-timing bastards" I tell her. Then I get up and make my way over to the pile of hay against the wall next to her bed. 'Man, I hope that I can get better sleeping arrangements than Saito.' I think to myself as I lie down. I start to doze off when suddenly I'm yanked back up. I open my eyes to see an angry looking Louise. "What is it?" I ask tiredly. Then I see that she's changed into her nightgown. She gestures over to a basket full of clothes.

"I want you to clean those for me. And wake me up in the morning." Then she walks over to her bed and lies down in it. "If you do well enough, then I'll make sure to feed you every day. And have my change of clothes ready in the morning." Then she starts to doze off, and I sigh.

"Well, it could be worse. I could be tied up like Saito was with a dog collar." Then I shake my head, and get up to get her change of clothes from her dresser. Once I have them in a pile on the table, I grab my phone and check the time. "Well, at least it seems like they have the same time frame here." I say to myself. I unlock my phone, and enter an alarm to wake me up at seven-thirty. 'If it's anything like the anime, then she's going to need to be up when it's pretty bright out.' I think to myself. Then I lie down and go to bed. I fall asleep with the faces of my friends and family floating around me.

***Scene Break***

I wake up to the sound of 'Welcome to the Family' by _Avenged Sevenfold_ playing quietly in my ear. I sit up and wipe at my eyes. 'Well, it certainly fits in with what's happening to me.' I think as I shut it off and stand up to stretch. Then I glance at the window and see that it's fairly lit outside. I walk over to the side of the bed and shake Louise to wake her up. She turns to the side a little and clutches the blanket tighter.

"Five more minutes…" She says sleepily and I respond with a sigh.

'She's just like my brother at home.' I think. My brother… Suddenly I feel sadness wash over me. I feel bad about leaving them behind. But if it means that I can keep a family from grieving about a lost only son or daughter… Then I would gladly sacrifice my own life on earth to make sure they get to live out theirs. I shake my head, trying to clear it of these thoughts, and then turn back to Louise. I take the blanket in my hands and pull it off her. She turns around and looks at me with sleepy eyes.

"Who are you? And why are you in my room?" She asks. To which I hold out her clothes for her to take.

"John. I'm your familiar remember. Here are your clothes." I say handing them to her. Then I grab the bag with my clothes in it and make my way towards the door. I hear the bed creak as Louise sits up and she sighs.

"Hey wait. Where are my panties?" I hear her ask. I turn a bright red and turn to look at her.

"Well… You see… Where I come from it's considered against the law to go hunting through someone's drawers. So you can go ahead and grab them." Then I turn around again and try to leave the room, only to be stopped by her again.

"They're in the bottom drawer." She tells me. I sigh and place my bag on the table. 'Better to do it now then to be threatened with no breakfast.' I think as I open the bottom drawer and take out a pair. Then my brain seems to register what I'm doing, and I throw them over my shoulder at Louise.

"Gah! Here you go!" I yell out. Then I wait a minute to turn around until I feel her clothes hit my back. I turn around and grab them. "Please don't tell me that you want me to dress you." I tell her. She looks at me with a steely gaze.

"Of course! The nobility never dress themselves! That's why we have servants!" I blanch. Man, I had hoped that the anime had gotten this part wrong. But of course not, life just _loves_ to screw with me about this kind of stuff. I sigh and start towards her. I felt awkward the whole time through, trying to look away while I put on her clothes until it was finally done. Then I step away and start towards the door. "Where do you think that you're going?" She asks me. I turn around to find her arms crossed.

"Well. I figured that you would want me to get dressed into something a little more presentable. You don't really think that I wear these clothes everywhere do you?" I ask, gesturing to the gym clothes that I was still wearing. She just nods her head. I sigh and shake my head. "Wait here. I already told you that I wouldn't try to run." She nods her head again, though her face says she doesn't believe me, and I walk away to the bathroom. I find it and knock to see if anyone was in it. Hearing no reply, I go in and change.

When I get back to Louise, I open the door and look at her as she stares at me with her mouth gawking. I chuckle a little. I had changed into the formal clothes. And by formal, I mean _Sherlock_ kind of dressing. **(AN: One of my ****_favorite_**** TV series.)** I place the bag back down and wave for her. She keeps staring at me for a moment, before she walks out the door and closes it. We make our way down to the dining hall, and when we open the door, a few people turn to look in our direction. Then they nudge their friends, and their friends nudged their friends. Soon enough the whole dining hall was looking at us.

I step forwards then take a bow. Then I step back and motion for Louise to go ahead. She does, but she looks confused as I do so. I walk a little quicker so that I'm right behind her. "It's alright. Just keep going and don't look so confused." Then I slow down a little as we reach her chair. I pull it out for her and she sits down. Then I push the chair in and stand by while she eats her breakfast.

***Scene Break***

"Why did you do that?" Asks Louise as we walk out into the courtyard. I had changed back into my gym clothes. With the duel happening with Guiche later, I don't want to risk something happening to my regular wear. I turn to her. I stop and lean up against the towers wall.

"What? You mean why did I act like a familiar?" I ask her. She nods her head. "Well… I guess it's because I know what it's like to be bullied." I reply. She stares at me expecting an answer. "Another story for another time." I say waving my hand. "What's important is that what I did back there might get a few people off your back. And after what I do today more people will hopefully be more respectful towards you. But I can't say for certain." I say. She stares at me with confusion.

"What do you do today?" She asks me.

"Well now. That would be telling wouldn't it?" I ask with a smirk. She just stares at me with annoyance clear in her eyes. I chuckle and get up off the wall. I start walking away and wave to Louise over my shoulder. "I'll see if I can't get some tea to calm your nerves." I say. Then continue walking. After a few seconds, the purple eye ball thing that scared Saito comes into my field of view. Even though I was expecting it, I still recoil. I end up knocking into someone and hear an 'oof!' from behind me. I turn around to apologize and see Siesta.

She's dressed the same way as in the anime as well. The French maids outfit and everything. "Sorry about that." I say as I bend down to pick up the pie. We both grab it at the same time, and our hands cross each other. She pulls hers away and straightens up.

"Oh! I'm sorry." She says. I shake my head and bend down again to pick up the pie.

"No, it's okay. I'm the one who caused you to drop it." I straighten up and place the pie on the plate that Siesta holds out. "Here you go." I say. Then I see that she's looking at my hand. She raises her head and looks at me.

"Um, excuse me, but are you the familiar that Ms. Valliere summoned?" She asks. I nod my head.

"Yup, the names John." She nods her head.

"My name's Siesta. I'm a maid here at the Tristain Academy of Magic." I nod my head.

"Alright, nice to meet you Siesta." Suddenly I hear a shout coming from one of the tables.

"Hey! Are you going to bring me my cake?!" I turn to see that it was Guiche who yelled at Siesta. 'Alright, so it's not pie. Whatever, it definitely _looks_ like pie.' I think to myself. But I digress. I lean over and take the plate with the cake on it from Siesta.

"Here, let me take it to him." I say, she looks at me with shock.

"But… I'm supposed to do it." She tells me. I just turn and look at Guiche who's sitting with Montmorency… You know, that name's too long. I'm just gonna shorten it to MonMon.

"Don't worry. And besides, this two- timing stuck up snob deserves what he's about to get." I say over my shoulder as I make my way to Guiche. When I get there, he's talking to MonMon about how he was conversing with Verande the whole night. I place the cake down in front of him. "Here you go." I say and take a step back.

"Good. Now go and bring us more tea." He tells me then turns back to MonMon. But before he can start up another conversation I interrupt him.

"What? No thank you?" I ask in a mocking tone. He whirls around.

"How dare you ask for thankfulness from nobility you-" He cuts off when he sees it's me. "You… You're Louise's familiar. Aren't you?" He asks. I nod my head, then look at MonMon, then look back at Guiche.

"So... You're eating breakfast with Montmorency I see…" I say. He blanches a little and stares up at me with a look in his eyes that says 'No!' I just stare back at him for a few more seconds, then take out my phone and glance at the time. "Well would you look at that. I give you another ten seconds to run before a certain _someone_ gets here Guiche." I say, placing my phone back in my pocket and beaming down at him.

"What do you mean peasant?" He asks after staring at me quizzically for a few seconds. I just smile down at him.

"Oh. Too bad so sad. But it looks like your time is up. I'm going to step out of your field of vision now. I hope you're ready to get bitch slapped Guiche." I step away from him and turn around. I can see Katie making her way towards us with a smile on her face. I turn back around and yank Guiche up so that he's standing up in front of the table. Then I drag him a little ways away. I let go and stand back as Katie and MonMon walk over to where we are.

I stand to the side as the two girls argue with Guiche. Then a crowd starts to gather. After a few minutes, Guiche gets bitch slapped by MonMon so hard that he lands on his ass. The crowd breaks into laughter as Katie runs away crying, and MonMon goes off steaming. Some of them break off to console Katie.

"Ahahaha! You just got dumped Guiche!" Yells out a plump student with an owl on his shoulder. I think his name was Malicorne. "And, you deserved everything you got!" The rest of the crowd continues to laugh as Guiche looks up and glares at me.

"It would seem that you do not know how to pay the proper respect to nobility." I shrug.

"Yeah well, I don't count two-timing assholes as nobility." I say. He starts steaming.

"I challenge you to a duel!" He yells out, pointing his rose wand at me. I laugh.

"A duel? With you? Don't make me laugh. Oh wait, you already did." I tell him, and then double over laughing again.

"That's right. You are a mere peasant. And a familiar to boot. Yet, you have mocked me. And you have made two noble ladies cry. You cad!" I straighten up and glare at him. I see him flinch a little. But I think that I'm the only one who did.

"You're saying that I'm the cad for causing them to cry? Look in the mirror dumbass. _You're_ the one who made Katie go running off crying, and MonMon completely livid with you. You're an asshole for what you do. I don't even want to _think_ about the other women who aren't here to learn that you're cheating on them. You're a two-timing f*cker that I will gladly give a beat down." I tell him. By now he's steaming with rage.

"Prepare yourself peasant! I will await you in Vestory square!" He yells as he stomps away. I scoff, then turn around and see an angry Louise walking over to me. I hold up my hand to keep her from saying anything.

"The dude was an asshole. That's why I did what I did. And besides, I know for a fact that I'm going to beat him. Hell, I might even embarrass him a little more." I turn to Malicorne. "Hey, you know which way is Vestory square?" I ask him. He points to my right.

"Just go that way." He says. Louise rounds on him.

"Malicorne!" She yells at him. I just turn and start to jog in the direction he pointed me in.

"Thanks! And make sure to bring your friends to see the duel!" I yell over my shoulder.

***Scene Break***

"I respect you for actually showing up." Says Guiche as I walk into the circle of people clustered around him. Guess news spread fast, although I did take a little detour and stroll around the courtyard for a bit.

"Yeah, well, I don't know why you're so surprised. I mean, who would be scared to face _you_ in a duel?" I ask with a chuckle. Guiche gets red from anger, and just as he's about to wave his wand to begin the duel, Louise is suddenly at his side yelling at him.

"Stop this at once Guiche! You know as well as I do that duels are forbidden!" She yells at him. Before Guiche can respond, I pipe up.

"That's only true between nobles Louise. As we all know, I'm not a noble. So it's fine. And sure this hasn't happened before, but who cares! I want to hurry up and beat this guy's ass!" I exclaim. She turns to me with shock.

"But… But…" She stutters out. Guiche gets an amused smile on his face.

"Now Louise, don't tell me you've become attracted to your familiar." Louise's face gets red and she starts to yell at him.

"Of course not! But I'm not just going to sit by while my familiar gets beaten up into a tattered heap!" I start laughing and have to double over. Then I straighten back up.

"Man how many times do I have to tell you this to believe me? I'm not gonna get beaten Louise. I'll be fine. I might be unconscious after the duel, but I'll be in one piece. And you," I say turning and pointing at Guiche. "You're one to talk about feeling attracted to a familiar. What was it you were saying earlier? About Verande? Oh yeah." I put on my best Guiche impression and repeat what he said earlier. "Those intelligent eyes, the sensual texture of his scales. I know deep down that he was just _destined_ to become my familiar!" When I'm finished, Guiche has a look of rage, as well as embarrassment. The entire group surrounding us bursts into laughter.

Once they stop, Guiche points his rose at me with a look of utter hatred. "Y-y-you dare to do such a thing?!" He exclaims. Then he swipes with his rose and a petal comes flying out and hits the ground. Causing a brass golem to appear. "My name-" I hold up my hand to stop him.

"Look I don't care about the whole 'My name is Guiche the brass and that means you will have a brass golem for your opponent thing'. Just hurry up and make your golem attack already." His face gains even more red than it already had from rage, and he waves his wand for the golem to attack.

The golem tries to hit me with a left swing. But I side-step it, then hold out my foot so that as it goes past, it trips. It falls to the ground and I grab the spear that it was carrying. Almost immediately, the runes that got inscribed on my hand begin to glow, and I know exactly how to use it. I stab the golem through the face, and spin around to find Guiche staring at me with surprise. He's not the only one. The rest of the circle is also staring at me. "What? Didn't think that I'd know how to wield a spear?" I say, giving the spear a twirl. "Well you'd be right. The thing is that I only just learned how to use it. As in right when I picked it up." They just continue to stare at me. So I turn to Guiche.

"What? You too scared to send more after me? I ask him with a smirk on my face. He shakes his head to clear it, and then swipes his rose again. More golems appear. Two of them have swords, another two have spears, and the final four have axes. "Well this'll be fun!" I exclaim, giving the spear another twirl and standing in a defensive position. Guiche waves his hand again, and the golems charge.

One of the golems with a sword tries a diagonal slash at me. So I bring the spear up to block it with the handle. The metal makes a *_clang!*_ as the sword slams into it. Then I push against the sword, causing the wielder to take a few steps back. While he's disoriented, I Jump forward and stab my spear into his stomach. While he's falling to the ground, I grab his sword as it falls from his hand. Then I turn towards one of the other spear wielders and throw my spear at them. It ends up hitting their wielding arm. So I run forwards and slash them in half with the sword. "I think I prefer the sword to a spear." I say out loud to no one in particular.

I turn around to see one of the axe wielders running at me with the axe raised over its head. I dodge roll to the side and jump back up, then I rush at the axe wielder who's currently trying to pry its axe from the ground that it hit instead of me. I run past it, cutting its head off of the rest of its body. As the body sinks to the ground, another axe wielder comes at me, trying to slice me in two at the stomach. I backflip over the axe, then land and jump forwards. The axe wielder brings up his weapon and blocks my attack. 'Hm. Guess they learn from each other's mistakes.' I think to myself as I jump backwards to dodge the axe that the golem swung at me.

I hear a whistling sound and duck, just as a spear goes flying over my head. I look in the direction that the weapon came from to see the other spear wielder. And he's making another spear from the dirt underneath him! 'Great! They have unlimited weaponry. Why didn't they show _that_ in the anime?!' I think as I dodge another swing by Mr. Swings-a-lot. 'Well, I _was_ only two episodes in…' I dodge another spear. 'Damn it! Can't you two let me finish a thought here?! No interruptions? Good.' I run forwards and swing at Mr. Swings-a-lot. He brings up the axe to block it, but I angle the sword and end up cutting his arm off at the elbow. Before he can regenerate his arm, I slice his head off.

Then I run at the last spear wielder. Dodging past its barrage of spears, and stab it where its heart would be. I turn around and see the last two axe wielders running at me. I take a defensive stance, and then block the first attack that axe wielder number 1 swings at me. I kick its stomach, projecting backwards, and bring up my sword to block the second axe wielders attack. I push its axe off my sword and jump backwards. Then spin and jump towards the other one. It wasn't expecting my attack, so it can't bring its axe up in time to stop me. I slice through its chest, and then turn back to the other one. It just stares at me, and then charges. It brings its axe up and takes a swipe as if to slice me down the middle. I step to the side and thrust the sword through its side. Then I jump back.

The slice that I made is oozing out dirt. But it quickly heals. Then the golem turns towards me and continues to swing. I block all its attacks, waiting for an opening. Finally, it swings at my neck and I'm able to duck under it. I jump forwards and stab it through the stomach, and then slice up through its chest and head. The thing falls to the ground and slowly turns into dirt. I turn around and see the last golem standing with its sword at the ready. But not charging me. "Well, at least one of your golems has honor Guiche." I say as I walk slowly over to him. I stand a few feet away from the golem, and then stop. I take the sword in both my hands and get ready to fight the last one. 'Something tells me this is going to be like a boss battle. He's going to be _a lot_ more difficult than the other guys.' I think, waiting for the golem to attack.

Suddenly it rushes forwards and brings its sword down on me with a diagonal slash. I just barely manage to block it as the thing jumps back to avoid getting hit. 'Damn! That thing's fast! It's also a thinker. Dodging away from me so that I can't slice it. This is going to be one tough battle.' I start to make my way towards the golem in a circle. The thing follows my moves and circles with me. Staying right in front of me the entire time. Then, I rush forwards and try to slice it across the stomach. It jumps back, then forwards just as quickly and slices at me diagonally across the chest. I jump back and hear a girl scream in the background, maybe Louise. Then the golem is rushing me again.

I block all its blows. But only just barely, every time it gets closer and closer to slicing me. I get a few cut along my arms and shirt, not deep enough to be bad, and I continue to try and block. Then the thing hits near the hilt and sends my sword flying. It sticks itself in the ground a few feet away, and the golem points his sword at my neck. It stands there, and then turns around to look at Guiche who's looking on with a smug smile. The golem seems to be waiting for a gladiatorial verdict. Guiche takes his thumb and moves it across his neck. The gladiatorial sign for death.

I hear the crowd gasp behind me, but I don't pay attention to that. The golem still has its back turned, so I take the opportunity and jump for my blade. I see the golem come at me but get a hand on the blade. I bring it up just as the golem jumps at me. I manage to slice off its sword arm which causes the arm and sword to go flying off to the left. Then I take the sword and stab the thing through the heart. I stare at it as it turns into dirt, and I _swear_ that I saw it nod to me. As if to say, 'You have won.' Then it's just a dirt pile on the ground. I walk over to Guiche with the sword still in my hand.

I bring it up as if to slice him and hear the crowd gasp as he screams and he falls to the ground. I stay like that for a few seconds, and then double over and burst out laughing. "Man! You should have seen the look on your face! I wish I had taken a photo!" I continue to laugh then stand back up and wipe away the tears that appeared in my eyes from laughing so hard.

"S-s-s-so then… Y-y-you're not going to kill me?" Guiche asks me. I shake my head and hold out a hand for him. He takes it and I help him up.

"I may hate you for being a two-timing bastard, but I believe that people deserve second chances. Well, there's also the fact that I hate killing. I don't even like killing small spiders. **(AN: This is true about me… A little sad, I know. But hey! I have a heart for everything!) **Guiche just stares at me with a mixture of admiration, confusion, and gratitude. Then I turn and face the crowd. "Alright people, duels over nothing to see here. You can all go do whatever it is that you were doing before this now." No one does anything. "Um… Guys? It's over. Why aren't you leaving?" Louise just walks up to me with a look of horror and concern.

"J-John. Y-you're bleeding." She says.

"Huh?" I ask. Then I look down at where the golem cut me in the chest earlier and see that I am, indeed, bleeding. Very badly in fact. The wound looks deep and it's oozing out blood at a steady rate. Most of my shirt is already covered with my blood. "Well would you look at that… I am." I reply. Then I start to feel all wobbly, and drop the sword as I fall to the ground with blackness claiming me.

***Authors Note***

Bob: Alright! So After going back and Re-Reading what I did before, I realized that the past version completely sucked balls. So I'm now Re-Writing it. Note that the only reason that I included 2 episodes into this 1 chapter is because I don't want the first chapter to be only two-thousand words. I know how much I hate that, so I wasn't about to do that to you guys.

Thanks for reading, and see you next time! Also, please leave me reviews on this stuff. Otherwise I won't know if I'm doing a good job. Goodbye all!


	2. Bullies I hate bullies

**Chapter 2: Bullies... I hate bullies**

I wake up from blackness to find myself lying on my back in Louise's bed. I sit up, but grasp my chest at the sudden pain. "Damn!" I yell out. I glance down and find my chest wrapped tightly in bandages. I look around and see Louise sitting in one of the wooden chairs, asleep on the desk. 'She looks really cute when she's asleep.' I think to myself with a smile. Then I shake my head to clear it. 'Wait. What the hell am I thinking?' I ask myself. Then I turn my head when I hear the door open and see Siesta there.

"Oh! Mr. John you're awake!" She exclaims. I nod.

"Yeah, how long have I been out?" I ask her. She looks down. I notice that she's carrying a plate with tea and cups on it.

"You have been asleep for three days Mr. John." She tells me. I knew it. But there's no use telling anyone now. I don't know anything about what happens from here on out, so might as well act as if I didn't know that.

"Well shit." I reply.

"Yes, you were close to a coma, but Ms. Valliere there bought an extremely expensive elixir to help you." She tells me. I recoil at this and look over at Louise.

"Huh. Who knew?" I say.

***Scene Break***

"God damn Louise." I mutter to myself as I wash her clothes. After I had left and changed back into my gym clothes, which the shirt had been sewn back together, I had come back into the room just as Louise was waking up. I had started to try to thank her, but she shot me down by telling me that the only reason she did that was to make sure that her familiar didn't die. Then she gave me a basket full of clothes from when I was unconscious and told me to wash it. I finish cleaning and hanging up her clothes, then notice some students and their familiars walking across the courtyard. "I'm in the same boat as all of them. *Sigh*" I say out loud. Suddenly I'm being pulled by my ear. "Ow!" I yell out.

"How much longer are you going to make me wait until you escort me to my class?! You really are stupid aren't you?!" Yells Louise into my ear.

"Owowow! That hurts!" I yell out in response. She lets go and I stumble off to the side a little.

"Now come on. My class is about to start and if we don't hurry then I'll be late!" She yells over her shoulder at me as she goes off in some direction.

"Yeah, yeah." I mumble to myself as I walk after her. But out of the corner of my eye I see Kirche watching me. 'I didn't like that look that she gave Saito at the end of the second episode. And I'm almost certain she gave me the same look when I defeated Guiche. But mixed with horror at that giant cut I got.' I think as I follow Louise towards her class.

We walk through the halls and finally arrive at the classroom. I take a seat next to Louise as the other students start to trickle in. I notice that Kirche, Guiche, Tabitha, and MonMon are all in the same class as Louise. 'Great. This should be interesting.' I think to myself as the teacher walks in. After the class quiets down, the teacher begins to talk about the different elements that the mages work with. Those being water, fire, earth, and air. She also says that they can be combined, and then asks if anyone can name them. Kirche raises her hand and the teacher calls on her.

"Two elements create a line, three a triangle, and four a square." She tells the class.

"Very good." Replies the teacher as Kirche takes a seat. She crosses her legs and I do my best to not turn around to look between them. Hey, I'm a teenage boy for crying out loud! "Now if I'm not mistaken, most of you can only deal with one element at a time. That's correct right?" She asks.

'Uh-oh.' I think. 'This is going to end badly for Louise. I can just tell.' And MonMon proves me right a second later by standing up to address the teacher.

"Excuse me Ms. Chevreuse. I hate to say this, but there's one student in this class who can't even work with one element. A student who has a zero percent rate of magical success." Suddenly I notice that all heads in the room turn towards Louise. I turn and see that she has a blank look on her face. But… It also looks like she has tears at the edge of her eyes.

'She's trying to ignore the insults that are thrown at her.' I realize.

"Ehem… Well, in any case-" Ms. Chevreuse begins, but I cut her off.

"Alright, please excuse me Ms. Chevreuse, I may be new here, but no matter where I am I know a bully when I see one." I say standing up in front of the class. The entire class then turns their attentions to me. 'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea… No! I'm doing this to stop another kid from being picked on! This _is_ a good idea.' I think, and then turn my attention back to the class. "So you," I say, pointing to MonMon. "Say that Louise has a zero percent rate of magical success. Correct?" I ask. She looks at me with surprise for a few seconds, before regaining her composure.

"Well, since you were only just summoned as her familiar, I wouldn't expect you to know. But Louise the Zero here earned her name for a reason. She hasn't managed to get one spell correct." I stare at her nodding the entire time.

"Alright, then tell me this. You say that she has failed every attempt at performing a magical spell correct?" I ask her. She nods in response. "Alright, then tell me. How is it that I'm standing in this room right now?" I ask. The whole class stares at me for a few seconds, before their eyes widen when they realizing what I'm implying.

"Well… Well…" MonMon tries to come up with something to counter my argument. "Ah! I'm sure you're just some peasant that Louise grabbed off the street!" She exclaims, pointing at me. The whole class starts to whisper amongst themselves about what she said. *_Crash_!* they all turn their heads to see that I've slammed my hand against the desk in front of me.

"Wrong!" I yell, pointing back at MonMon. "If that was the case, then how do I have these runes on my hand?!" I yell, lifting up my left hand to show the runes. "If I was just some peasant then the ritual wouldn't be authentic would it? So how do I have familiar runes carved into my hand?" I ask, standing up straight and crossing my arms in front of my chest.

The class turns back to MonMon and she seems to sputter for a few seconds. "I rest my case." I say sitting down in my chair again. The whole class stares at me, and then turns to the front of the room. I turn to see that Louise is staring at me with shock clear in her eyes. I smile at her in response. Then I turn to the front of the room to find the teacher staring at me. But the corners of her mouth are turned up in a smile, and she has a glint in her eyes. I smile at her too. 'At least _someone_ here doesn't feel like teasing Louise about her little problem.' I think to myself as Ms. Chevreuse continues class.

***Scene Break***

"Why did you do that?" Asks Louise after we've made it back to her room. I sit at the table and clasp my hands together.

"I did it because I have a part in my heart put aside for bullies. It's the part of my heart that feels utter hate. I hate seeing a kid being bullied, and even if you don't treat me in the best way, I don't really care about that when it comes to situations like this." I tell her. She looks down at the ground when I mention not being treated in the best way.

"Well… Good." She says.

'*Sigh* She just can't bring herself to thank her familiar, can she?' I ask myself. 'Oh well. At least I get what she actually feels.' Then she looks back up at me.

"Because of what you've done today, I will see if I can get you better sleeping arrangements." She tells me. I stand up and bow.

"Thank you. You should also know that if this happens again, then whoever does so to you will be talked to by me. In fact, if I see anyone getting bullied in the academy, then I will make sure to teach the bullies a lesson." I say, straightening back up. She nods, and then walks over to her dresser. I wonder why until I look out the window and see that the sun is setting. I walk over to the candle, grab a match, and light it. Then I turn around to see Louise has her nightgown on. I take her clothes and place them in the laundry basket.

Then I start walking towards the door until I hear Louise behind me. "Where are you going" She asks. I turn around and face her.

"Well, you guys don't have a place for exercise at the academy, so I figured that I would go see what I can do out in the courtyard and get some exercise." She nods her head and turns over to go to sleep.

"Alright, just make sure that you wake me up in the morning." She tells me as she starts to drift off to sleep. I nod, then walk out and close the door behind me. I make my way out into the courtyard and look around for something to do. I notice that the wall has some bricks that aren't lined up with the rest and grab a hold of them. I do some pull-ups, climb the wall up and down, and then run a few laps around the academy. After that's done I make my way back up the stairs towards the floor Louise is on. As I round the corner, I see a charmander standing there. Well, it was standing on all fours and looked more like a salamander, but it had the flaming tail so I'm calling it charmander.

"Hey, what are you doing there charmander?" I ask. Then charmander jumps forwards and grabs onto my sleeve. "Alright then, what do you want?" I ask as it pulls on my sleeve. "Guess I'll follow you then." I say. I start to follow it down the hall until I realize 'Wait a minute… This is _Kirche's_ familiar!' Luckily I'm in front of Louise's room when I realize, so I throw open the door, rush in, and then slam it behind me. I stand with my back to the door as I hear scrapes coming from the other side. I hear the charmander walking away and slide down the door letting out a sigh. Then I look up to see that Louise is staring at me.

"Why was there the sound of scraping against my door?" She asks with a look that could kill. I look back up at her with a clear gaze. Even though I wanted to crawl to the nearest corner and hide.

"I was just dragged down the hall by charmander by my sleeve. Luckily I realized that it was Kirche's familiar when I passed by your door, so I ran in here. I don't really trust Kirche. Especially with what I've been hearing about her seeing five guys at the same time. I think the scraping was charmander trying to get in here." She continues to stare at me, and then walks towards the drawers. I run up to them before she can get there, grab the riding crop, and then run past her to the window. I open it up and throw out the riding crop. Then I round on Louise. "I thought we agreed that I wasn't going to get hit with that?! And besides, I just said that I _don't_ trust Kirche!" I yelled at her. She just stands there seething. Then she stomps to her bed and sits down.

I walk over to my bed of hay and sit down to wait. I have a feeling she's going to want to tell me something. After a few minutes, she turns and looks at me. "I don't care so much if you date. But you are _not_ allowed to see Kirche Zerbst." She tells me. I look back at her.

"I take it you two have history?" I ask her. She nods her head.

"Yes. Kirche's family the Zerbst, and mine the Valliere's have long been arch rivals and enemies. It would be a disgrace if one thread, one dog got taken away by a Zerbst." She tells me. I nod to her.

"Alright, but what's this about me being a dog?" I ask. She just stares back at me.

"Well, you're my familiar. So therefore you are on the same level as a tree, or a dog." She tells me with a deadpan voice. I throw my hands into the air.

"Oh for crying out loud! This is the thanks I get for getting people to stop calling you a Zero?!" I ask her. She blushes a bright red and turns away. I just sigh and shake my head. Then look back up at her. "Alright, we'll put that 'dog' comment aside for now and worry about something else." She turns her head to look at me.

"And what might that be?" She asks me. I gesture to myself.

"Me. What I'm supposed to do as your familiar. Right now all I do is chores and whatnot. But I feel like I'm supposed to do more than just your laundry. So what might that be?" I ask her.

"Well," She begins. "As my familiar, your job is supposed to be to protect me. But seeing as I doubt you could protect me from even a crow-" I cut her off.

"Hey! Did you see me with that sword?! I could _too_ beat a crow!" She stares at me.

"Yes, I suppose your right." She tells me. "How much training do you have with a sword?" She asks me. At this I scoff.

"None." I tell her. She recoils and then leans forwards and stares at me with wide eyes.

"No way! I saw you during that fight! You were so adept when you were fighting Guiche's golems!" I shrug my shoulders.

"I don't know." I reply. "I just picked up the sword and I suddenly knew how to use it, same thing goes for the spear." I tell her. She goes into a thinking position.

"Hmm… I've heard that it's possible that familiars can suddenly develop special powers once they've been conjured. For example, a black cat can learn to speak after it becomes a familiar."

"Yeah, but I'm not a black cat! And besides, I can't be a swordsman without a sword!" I yell at her. She nods.

"You're right. And tomorrow _is_ Hollow's day." She says. Now it's my turn to recoil.

"Hollow's day? You mean like GenerationHollow? Is RageGamingVideos here too?" I ask. She stares at me with confusion.

"What are you talking about?" She asks me.

"Never mind, stuff from my world." I tell her. 'Of course they don't have those two here! They don't have internet dummy!' I mentally scold myself. She just continues to stare at me for a few more seconds, before she scoffs and lies down in her bed.

"Well then hurry up and get to bed. We're getting up early in the morning." She tells me. I sigh and lie down in my bed of hay. 'Well, at least she wasn't yelling at me.' I say to myself. Then start to fall asleep. Only to be interrupted by Louise.

"John, what did you mean earlier when you called Kirche's salamander 'charmander'?" She asks me. I turn my head to look at her.

"I'll explain it tomorrow. Right now I'm tired, and you said that we're going to need to be up early. So g'night." Then I turn my head and close my eyes to drift off to sleep.

***Scene Break***

"God damn it! I didn't realize that we were going to be riding on horseback for three hours. Now my back is _killing_ me." I complain as we walk down a main street. Except that to them 'main' is a dirt path between houses with enough space to fit a carriage. Or four rows of people. Then we turn and start to walk down a side street.

"Shut up with your complaining." She tells me. Then she starts to look around. "I think that it was right next to Villamonts elixir shop." She says to me. "Oh! Here it is." She starts towards a small shop that has a sword symbol hanging in front of the door.

'Villamonts elixir shop… Why would she know where that is?' I ask myself. 'Wait! Didn't Siesta tell me that Louise bought a really expensive elixir to help me not have a coma? Humph.' I think as we walk in. I immediately notice the man behind the counter.

'He looks like those shop keepers in video games who try to rip you off during cut scenes, and you have to bargain with them. Then you get a shit deal anyway.' I think to myself. Louise walks up to him and they start a conversation. Then he turns and seems to study me for a minute, before going into the back behind a curtain. I walk up to Louise. "Did we come here to buy me a sword?" I ask her. She nods.

"Yes. It's dangerous that Kirche's after you. And if you are to protect me, you will need the means to do so." I nod my head.

"I can agree with you there. I wouldn't be able to do much with just my bare hands." I tell her. Just then, the man comes out from behind the curtain and walks out from behind the counter holding onto a gleaming golden sword with what looks like a ruby on the hilt. He hands it to me and I feel the weight of it. My runes don't light up though, so I don't know what to think. Meh. It's a sword. And it freaking shiny as _hell_! Who cares about what happens with my runes? Then the shop keeper says something that makes me think about the sword differently.

"This was forged in the ancient tradition by the famous alchemist mage, and sword smith Lord Berg of Germania. It slices steel _ever_ so easily." He tells us. Just as Louise is about to say something, probably asking how much it is, I hold up my hand to stop her. Then I turn back to the shop keeper.

"Well… I don't know." I say. Louise looks at me as if I've gone crazy, and the trader looks at me with a new look in his eyes. "I mean, it looks like it's made of gold." I tell him. "It is, right?" I ask him. He nods his head in response.

"Why of course! Miss here asked for the best weapon that we had." I nod my head then turn and place the sword on the counter. I turn back to the trader.

"No thanks. Do you have anything that we could get for maybe around one-hundred new gold?" I ask him. Again, Louise looks at me with shock, and the store keeper seems to deflate a little. He motions over to a barrel in the corner of the room.

"Anything in there." He tells me. I nod and walk past Louise to look through the barrel. I look through it, lifting all the swords out of it and trying them out. Some of them were too heavy, some were too light, and some were too big. Soon enough I found a rusted old sword that felt right. It was just the right size, and it wasn't heavy or too light. The blade was still sharp, even though it looked like it was three thousand years old. I turn around and show it to the shop keeper.

"How about this one?" I ask. The shop keeper's eyes seem to pop out of his skull and it looks like he can't speak for a few seconds. Then he shakes his head and looks at me.

"Of course! In fact, take it! You don't even need to pay! Just take it and go!" He yells out as he ushers us out the door. "But no refunds!" He yells at us as he slams the door in our face. I look at the sword, and the sheath the shop keeper thrust into my hand before slamming the door in our face. I sling it over my shoulder, and sheath the sword. Then start to walk away. A few seconds later I see a head with pink hair next to me. I continue walking until she starts to talk.

"Why did you do that?!" She yells at me as we walk towards our horse. I stop in front of it and turn around to face her.

"I did that because the sword was no good." I tell her. She recoils, and then stares at me with confusion.

"What do you mean it was no good?" She asks me. I sigh and look at her.

"It was no good because for one, the guy was giving all this big talk about it. If I know one thing from the amount of RPG's that I've played, or watched people play, it's that when they talk all about it, it won't last that long. Or it will last forever. However I also did that because the things made of gold. That means that it would most likely snap when I try to use it on something solid. So I would be able to cut into someone or something, but when I hit bone it would snap. It's basically a one use sword." I tell her. She nods her head, and then gets a confused look on her face.

"What was that first thing you said? What are RPG's?" She asks me.

"Oh that." I tell her. "Something from my world. Since we have three hours to waste, I guess we should get going. I'll tell you all about RGP's and video games from my world on the way back to the academy." I tell her while I get onto the horse and hold out a hand to help her up. She brushes it aside and gets up onto the horse herself. 'Guess she doesn't want help from her familiar with simple things.' I tell myself as we start riding. Then I proceed to tell her more about my world and video games.

***Scene Break***

So we got back to the academy and I had fully explained the concept of video games to Louise in a way that she would be able to understand. I had also explained what I meant by charmander the night before, and explained Pokémon as well. Now we were in her room. She was sitting on her bed thinking, and I was looking over the new sword that we had just gotten. For _free_. Suddenly we hear a knock on the door. I get up, leaning the sword against the wall, and open the door. I only get it partially open before it's shoved the rest of the way as Kirche strides in with Tabitha in tow. And she's holding the golden sword from the shop in her hand.

"Oh darling!" She exclaims.

'Great. I'm a darling in her eyes. This can only end badly for me.' I think to myself as I sit down in my hay bed. She walks over to me with the sword in her hand. Then she bends down and places it in her lap. She stays like that for a few seconds, which gives me a perfect view of her cleavage. Now, I may be a man. But for one, I don't want to be blown up by Louise. And secondly, Kirche is obviously just trying to seduce me into liking her. So I turn away slightly.

"I know that we haven't formerly met, but I just love the way that you took care of Guiche. But I do wonder why it is that you suddenly ducked into Louise's room while my wonderful Flame was leading you to my room. I had a special surprise waiting." She tells me, her voice making it clear that the surprise _wasn't_ the sword.

"Well… You see… I… Um…" I get saved from trying to explain by Louise who interrupts me and starts to yell at Kirche. Meanwhile, Tabitha has chosen to sit on Louise's bed and open her book to read. I just sit back against the wall and let the two work it out themselves.

"What are you doing here Zerbst?!" She yells at Kirche. Kirche turns her head to look at Louise, then turns around to wink at me. Then she stands up and walks over towards her.

"Why, I just came here to give your familiar here a special gift." Replies Kirche, glancing in my direction with a smile. Then she turns back to Louise with a different smile. Almost like a taunting one. "After all, this golden one is _much_ better than that rusted old one that _you_ got him.

"Oh, so you were following us then? Why? Do you want to seduce John into being one of your mindless boyfriends?" Louise asks, leaning against the bed post. I lean over towards Tabitha.

"They always like this Tabitha?" I ask. She nods, then seems to register that I knew her name because she closes her book and looks at me.

"How?" Is her quiet one word question. I glance at Louise and Kirche to see that they're still glaring at each other. Then I turn back to Tabitha.

"Long story short, I'm from a different world and I know a lot of what happened to Louise on the day that she summoned me, as well as the fact that I would fight Guiche the next day. I also know the names of you, Kirche, Louise, Guiche, Montmorency, Malicorne, Mr. Colbert, Ms. Chevreuse, Old Osmond, and Ms. Loungville." I tell her. She nods her head as if it was the answer that she was expecting, and then opens her book and resumes reading. I turn back to see Louise and Kirche still arguing.

"I heard that this sword was made by a man from Germania. The best swords and women come from there. There's no way you'd be able to compete." Kirche tells Louise while crossing her arms under her breasts, lifting them up slightly. Louise stops leaning against the bed post and stands with her hands on her hips.

"Humph! I'm sure you just flirted with so many men in Germania that no one would bother to deal with you anymore, and that's why you came here to study abroad in the neighboring country." Replies Louise with a mocking tone. Then she wipes out her wand at the same time as Kirche and they point them at each other.

"That was quite a mouthful." Says Kirche.

"Maybe, but it's the truth." Replies Louise. Then suddenly, their wands are swept out of their hands and land in front of me. I turn to see Tabitha holding her staff.

"Indoors." She says, still reading her book.

"Thank you Tabitha. I don't need to be blown up by two different mages at the same time." I tell her. Then Louise and Kirche come striding over to me.

"In that case we'll just let John decide." Says Kirche as they bend over to glare at me.

"That's right." Says Louise. "We're fighting over your sword after all."

'Don't think it! Don't- _That's what she said._ God damn it.' I think to myself. Unable to help thinking the sentence in my head. Then I pick up the golden sword in one hand, and the rusted sword in the other. I glance back and forth between the two 'I mean, I feel like the best choice here would be the rusted one. But, I feel like there's more to this than a simple sword.' I think to myself

"Well Pick!" They yell at me. I sweat drop.

"I don't know." I reply. "How about both of them?" They reply to my comment by kicking me in the face. My head hits into the rusted sword and I drop the golden one. Then I cry comical tears.

"This is as good a time as any to tell you this. I hate you" Says Kirche facing Louise.

"Well then we can finally agree on something." Replies Louise while glaring at Kirche.

"A duel!" They yell at each other. I stop the comical tears and lift my head from the sword.

"Hey. Come on guys, this is getting out of hand." I tell them, trying to calm them down so that one doesn't blow the other up. Suddenly there's a new voice in the mix.

"Hey! Shut up already! Stupid women." It yells out. I blanch when Louise and Kirche turn to look at me with looks that could kill.

"Stupid?" Kirche asks.

"What did you say?" Louise asks. Then they stride towards me.

"He-hey! Wait! It wasn't me!" I yell out, trying to keep them from blowing _me_ up. "Tabitha? A little help here?!" I ask the ever wise blue haired girl.

"The sword." She replies. We all stare at her and voice the same thought. 'Huh?' then we turn to look at the rusted sword that I'm still holding onto.

"I was taking a nice nap until you all woke me up!" It exclaims. The scabbard moving up and down like a mouth. It sounds like a man so I'm going to assume it's a guy.

"Either I'm going crazy, or I have a talking sword in my possession." I say out loud.

"I'm surprised. You've got an awfully weird face for someone who's a user. Yeah, no wonder I had to wake up." Replies the sword.

"Huh? A user? What's that? And what's this about my face being ugly?!" I ask the sword.

"Hey, that's an intelligent sword, a sword that contains its own wisdom. Boy, Louise the Zero sure knows how to pick strange stuff to buy." Says Kirche. I stiffen up when she says the 'Zero' part.

"I didn't know a thing about it. I'm going to return this creepy thing as soon as I can." Replies Louise.

"What year is it right now?! And where the hell are we?! Damn it I want answers!" Yells out the sword. I slide him part of the way into his sheathe before I respond.

"I'll answer all your questions in a few minutes with Louise's help, but first I have to take care of something." I tell him. Then I slide him the rest of the way in and stand up so that my bangs are covering my eyes from being seen, but I can still see the two girls. I turn and face Kirche. "Get out." I tell her. She looks at me with shock.

"Why would you want me to leave darling? I just gave you a much better sword than Louise the Zero here did" She says with a smile. I just continue to stay in the same position.

"I said get out. Otherwise you might meet a different part of me. The part that has no tolerance _whatsoever_ for people who are bullies." I tell her. She recoils.

"What do you mean? How am I a bully if I'm saying something that is true?" She asks me. In response I do nothing. Then answer her.

"Weren't you listening to a word I said in class? If Louise had a zero percent rate of magical success, then how am I here. I'm living proof that Louise has at least one magical spell that she did correctly. Now I'm going to tell you one last time. Get… Out." She recoils again. Then tries to put on a seducing smile.

"Oh, but darling-" She's cut off when I step forwards, and bitch slap her. The force behind the slap causes her head to turn and a red mark to appear on her cheek. She turns back around to stare at me with shock while she puts a hand to her cheek. Louise is also staring at me with shock, and I even got Tabitha to close her book and look up at me.

"Get… Out… Now." I tell her with my new monotone voice. She walks to the door, still holding onto her cheek, turns around one last time, and then walks out. Suddenly, I'm back to my normal self. I turn to see that Tabitha is still looking at me.

"Tabitha, if you wouldn't mind, could you please leave as well?" I ask her. She nods, grabs her staff, and exits the room. I close the door behind her, and then turn to face Louise. Who's still staring at me with a shocked look. I nod my head at her. "I told you. I have a special place reserved in my heart for bullies." Then I turn when I hear the sound of a whistle.

"Wow partner. I'll need to remember never to insult the little missy here." Says the sword from its sheath. He's slid himself partly out of it and is staring at us. I walk over to him and take him out of the sheath entirely. "We haven't been introduced properly." He says. "My names Delflinger." I nod my head.

"Well my names John. Nice to meet you." I say.

"Hm. John… Weird name." Delf says. I chuckle.

"Yeah well it gets weirder than my name." I respond. Then I turn around and see that Louise is _still_ staring at me. I chuckle. "What? Still surprised that I did that to Kirche?" I ask her. She just nods her head in response and I chuckle again. "Well don't be. Anyone who calls you a zero will most likely get the same response from me." I tell her. Then I sit down on my hay bed and start up a conversation with Delf.

***Authors Note***

Bob: So yeah. I don't really know what to say here besides the fact that John hates bullies with a passion. There's also the fact that he got Delf and bitch slaps Kirche for calling Louise a Zero. Honestly, I might have done something similar if I was in John's situation. So… yeah, there really isn't anything else to say. Thanks for reading, and see you next time!


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